


Pokémon ToD!

by PKirby



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 21:57:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16606184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PKirby/pseuds/PKirby
Summary: Give us a dare or two! Or maybe a truth if you would? Something-ANYTHING-to keep these Legendaries(which I have captured and brought to my studio) busy. Join Monty and his "not-brother" Sylver as they entertain the masses to no end. Rated T for foul language. I do not own Pokémon in anyway.





	Pokémon ToD!

*a Monferno enters a studio housing the Legendary and Mythical Pokémon*

 

Monferno: Hello, everyone.  I’m Monty Tikalti *winks and salutes* and we’re going to play Truth or Dare!  But first, I’MMA FUCK Y’ALL UP!!*pulls out minigun and starts spraying bullets everywhere*

 

Everyone: Oh shit!*starts running for cover*

 

Jirachi:*holds Victini up in front of him* Shoot the hyperactive bunny!  Shoot the hyperactive bunny!*gets shot several times*

 

Victini:*flips off Jirachi* Victory, bitch!*gets shot*

 

Lunala:*repeatedly uses Cosmic Power* You’re a dick, Sol!  A DICK!!

 

Solgaleo:*repeatedly uses Metal Sound on Lunala* I pride myself on that!*gets shot*

 

Arceus:*changes to a Ghost-type* Ha!  Now, I’m invincible!*gets grazed by a stray bullet* What the fuck?!*gets hit by a barrage of bullets*

 

Giratina: I’m out, y'all.*opens up a portal and enters it, only to reappear in another portal back to his original position* FUCK!*gets shot*

 

Mew:*flies around, zipping from place to place* Whee!  This is fun!

 

Mewtwo:*looks at her weirdly* What the hell is wrong with you?  Actually…*joins Mew in zipping around* it’s kinda fun.

 

Kyogre:*points to Groudon* Shoot him first!          Groudon:*points to Kyogre* Shoot her first!

 

Rayquaza:*points to both of them* Shoot them first!  They give me headaches!

 

Latios:*flips off Rayquaza* Ha!*shoots a Dragon Breath at him*

 

Rayquaza:*grunts* Uh, try me--*gets shot*

 

Monty: NOW YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HEADACHES ANYMORE!!*cackles after shooting Kyogre and Groudon*

 

Latios:*flies up to Monty* Thank you so much!

 

Monty: You’re welcome.  Now, where was I? Oh, right!*continues to mow them down save a few*  If your name is Lunala, Necrozma, Marshadow, Mewtwo, Mew, Articuno, Suicune, Latios, Lugia, Reshiram, Darkrai, or Yveltal, and you’re still alive and breathing, please come closer.

 

Mewtwo & Marshadow:*holds hands up while walking towards him*

 

Monty:*drops the minigun* What are you guys doing?  I kept you alive to keep you alive, not to stab you in the back.  Lower your hands.

 

Mewtwo & Marshadow:*lowers hands to shoulder level*

 

Monty: A little bit more.

 

Mewtwo & Marshadow:*lowers hands to their stomachs*

 

Monty: Just a smidge.

 

Mewtwo & Marshadow:*lowers hands to their waist*

 

Monty: ALL THE WAY GODDAMMIT, OR YOU’LL JOIN THEM IN HELL!!*picks minigun up*

 

Lunala:*backs away* He ain’t playing, lower them!  I don’t want to get shot today!

 

Mewtwo & Marshadow:*lowers them all the way*

 

Monty:*puts minigun down* That’s better.  Now then, you guys are my favorites, so you all get one “Get Out of Dare” card.*gives them cards* Also, Lunala?

 

Lunala: Hmm?

 

Monty: Solgaleo SUCKS!!  NIGHTLIFE IS BEST LIFE!!

 

Lunala: I know, right?

 

Monty: Yeah!  Now, Marshadow…

 

Marshadow:*shyly* Y-yeah?

 

Monty: You’re faster than a level 81 Blaziken at level 71!  Also, you’re just so gosh-darn cute!

 

Marshadow:*sweat drops* Uh, thanks?

 

Monty: So, what are everyone’s nicknames?  You know what, we’ll just make some up as we go along.*starts singing “Samba de Janeiro”* Sem Brazil, encima, encim, encim, encima.

 

Mewtwo:*joins him* Sem Brazil, debajo, deba, deba, debajo.

 

Lunala:*joins them* Sem Brazil, en cima, encim, encim, en cima.

 

Suicune:*joins them* Sem Brazil, debajo, deba, deba, debajo.

 

Monty, Mewtwo, Lunala, Suicune:*start a conga line*

 

Lugia:*joins them*

 

Marshadow & Yveltal: They’ve gone mad.

 

All Others:*shrug and join the conga line*

 

All: Samba de Janeiro!  Whoo!

 

===AFTER REVIVING EVERYONE ELSE===

 

Monty: Now before we get started, I have a few dares and truths for some of you.

 

All:*gulp*                  Lunala:*swigs a bottle of brandy* C’mon, then!  I can take it!

 

Monty: All my favorites, you have to go up to who you love and kiss ‘em.  Doesn’t have to be long or short, but you still need to kiss ‘em.

 

Latios & Lugia:*kisses each other*

 

Yveltal:*starts flying towards Suicune*

 

Suicune:*realizes what’s happening* Oh, fuck!*runs all the way to her room and slams the door*

 

Yveltal:*droops head sadly*

 

Monty:*jumps up and pats his head* I feel bad for ya.

 

Suicune:*comes out of her room calmly*...*kisses Yveltal on the cheek and runs off*

 

Yveltal:*gasps and smiles*

 

Monty:*grins* Looks like you got one.

 

Reshiram & Articuno: Don’t have one.             Darkrai: I’m asexual.

 

Marshadow & Necrozma:*smiles at each other awkwardly*

 

Monty: I said kiss!  Not stare at each other awkwardly!

 

Marshadow:*jumps up and kisses Necrozma*

 

Monty: Cute.  So what about you Lunala?  Who do you love? Others: Yeah?  Who?

 

Lunala:*uses Teleport*

 

Monty:*picks up minigun* I should’ve--

 

Lunala:*appears in front of Monty, smacks the minigun down(Damn!), and starts making out with him*

 

Others: Dang!      Yveltal: Monala, I ship it!    Solgaleo: 運のいいやつ!

 

Monty & Lunala:*break apart* Language!*goes back to kissing for a few minutes*

 

Lunala:*breaks* That was so relieving!  I thought I’d have to hold that in forever!

 

Monty: Same here!  Lunala, where do you get your brandy?

 

Lunala: Apparently Dialga makes the greatest alcoholic drinks around.  Why, he made a moonshine so powerful, Llama God couldn’t handle it and got knocked out for a week!*catches Dialga’s fearful stare* Oops.*looks at Arceus, who looks ready to rip off Dialga’s most loved limb and beat him over the head with it* Celery stick!

 

Celebi:*annoyed* What is--*fearfully*--oh my god.*snaps fingers to before Lunala said the bit about the moonshine and covers her mouth* Keep that one to yourself.*makes Lunala nod*

 

Monty: Lugia and Latios, a few people, not a lot, but a few people support you two.  Someone even made a picture of you two.*shows them the picture*

 

Lugia:*stares at it for a few seconds* Dude, that _is_ a picture.

 

Latios: Or a dual portrait, to be exact.

 

Monty:*nods* M’kay.(Shit!  Well, there goes my blackmail!)

 

Dialga: Hey Palkia!  I just remembered something!  Today’s your birthday…

 

Monty: And you know what that means!*snaps fingers*

 

Palkia: Don’t you sing--

 

Others: Happy birthday to you~

Happy birthday to you~

Happy birthday dear Palkia~

Happy birthday to you~

 

Palkia:*is too stunned to speak and claps*

 

Monty: You would never believe the--*gets elbowed by Lunala* Did you like it?

 

Palkia: No.  I liked it a lot.

 

Monty: Yes!  Now, then...Groudon, Kyogre, and Rayquaza each have to try to survive the wrath of Mr. Resetti!

 

Groudon: That doesn’t sound so bad…

 

===LATER===

 

Groudon: MY FUCKING EARS!

 

Kyogre: YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE EARS!

 

Rayquaza:*completely unaffected by it* Fuck the police coming straight from the underground…*fires a Dragon Pulse at Mr. Resetti*

 

Monty: And now, random ship time!*pulls a lever belonging to a matchmaker machine* The match is...Phione and Mew!

 

Mew & Phione:*shrugs and gives each other a quick kiss*

 

Monty: Now then…*pulls out jug of Moomoo milk* Who wants to see me chug this all in a minute?

 

All: WE DO!                              Lunala, Marshadow, & Necrozma: That’s not a good idea, man…

 

Monty:*starts a timer and starts chugging the milk*

 

All: GO!  GO! GO!                 Lunala, Marshadow, & Necrozma:*facepalms and shakes heads*

 

Monty:*finishes and stops watch* Whoo! 25.2 seconds!  New record!

 

Lunala: What happened the last time you did this?

 

Monty: Got sick for a day.  Why do you ask?

 

Lunala:*grabs him and Teleports to the bathroom then Teleports back*  That’s all!

**Author's Note:**

> Rules:  
> 1\. Almost anything is accepted. If you give a truth or dare about the Loaf, I'm ignoring it.  
> 2\. Please do not spam. If your truth and/or dare(s) do not appear in the chapter you commented on, it means that others have already taken up all the space that I will allow in a chapter. Don't worry, though! They will appear in a nearby chapter!  
> 3\. Respect my right to call Arceus "God" in this fanfiction.  
> 4\. Have fun reading!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed, and will continue to enjoy this work.  
> -Kirbster


End file.
